Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Guest blogger time!

Ladies and Gentlemen,  (well...ladies)  let me introduce my daughter Jordan.  She makes me giggle, chortle laugh and gafaw.  You should see her latin step instructor impression.  I die.

Livin the Vida Loca

Here is how my day started out:
Mom: "Jord, wake up. do you want to go do a Step Class at the gym with me?"
Me: "Yeah, totally."
(time elapses)
Mom: "JORDAN! are you not awake? we have to leave."

I then proceed to jump up and change. I brush my teeth. pull up my hair
and grab a piece of bread to eat. We are on our way.

Now, it's time for the Step class.
Just our luck. It has already started. The room is full of people and they all know what to do. Mother and I walk over to the corner and grab our steps and the (pardon my un-technical term) thingys to make the step thing higher. We then look to see where to go. Of course there is no room in the back. This is when I hear:
(insert your best Latin accent) "LADIES, LADIES. you can go anywhere. Come up here to the front." The instructor very loudly motions us to the front of the room. Let me explain this instructor. He is a latin man, probably in his mid forties. He has a microphone headset. (Britney Spears style)
and he sorta looks like this.

Okay, I kid. I kid. But by the way he was actin and groovin he might as well have been.
I thought this was a step class. yeah. there was a step involved but this had to have been a Zumba Step class. The moves were all latin related. The people know: I have no rhythm. I just dont. There is a reason that I have been successful in avoiding the Zumba phase for so long. It is because i know i will look a fool if it is attempted.
Well, lemme tell ya. I couldn't keep up. Cha Cha? yeah. not a chance. I can barely cha cha normally peeps. add a step in front of me and it is just beggin for problems.
well bless his little heart but my instructor found me to be his little project.
He would move his step right in front of mine to try and help. and at one point we were sharing a step so that i could follow his moves. This was in a full room of people. ayeee
(Insert accent again): "5, 6, 7, 8 Lift your knee.. Yes or No?"
"Basic step. Yes or No?"
the man had a very sing-song sort of way of talking. add an accent and bam. I wish i could include audio. After almost every time he said something he would say, "Yes or No?"
ayyeee.. Well here comes the sad part.
Because of my only one piece of bread in my tummy, I started to get a little dizzy. My eyes started to black out and I knew it was cuz i was workin so hard and hadnt eaten.
Well, I said goodbye to momma and left that place.
The step is probably still sittin there.. sad and lonely. Wishin that its owner had more rhythm and a little more sugar in their blood. maybe i will go back to visit my step.. "Yes or No?"


No comments:

Post a Comment